Invisible Tears and Panted on Smiles
by dbst
Summary: She didn't cry becasue she promised him she wouldn't. No matter what. And that promise was all she had left of him.


Disclaimer: Not mine,

A/N: Ok as of right now this is a one shot. I have some ideas floating around to expand it, but I'm not sure yet. As always I appreciate reviews.

Juliet slipped out of the interrogation room silently glancing in both directions before practically running down the hallway to the safety of the ladies room. She locked the door behind her before sliding to the floor against it. The cold metal of the door felt cool against her flushed skin. Bringing her knees to her chin she let her head fall and waited for the tears to come. They didn't of course. She hadn't cried since the "accident."

She didn't cry when she had to run form the supermarket, avoiding the glances of worried shoppers as she dropped her basket, just because she saw his favorite fruit.

She didn't cry every time she picked up her phone, just because it wasn't him calling.

She didn't cry when she sat at her desk able to work, knowing he would never be there to sit on it and distract her again.

She didn't cry when she saw the downtrodden faces of every officer at the station anytime the door was open and he didn't stroll through like he owned the place ready to help with a case.

She didn't cry when she saw the haunted looks in the faces of his father and best friends as they realized he would never be around to make them worry again.

And she especially didn't cry when she tore across the room seeing the familiar spiky hair or green polo, hoping against hope that it was him, just to grab his arm and spin him around…and find out that it wasn't. That it never would be again.

She didn't cry…because she promised him she wouldn't. Not after what happened. And that promise was all she had left of him.

"_Shawn just hold on, ok? Help is the way. You're going to be fine. You're going to be fine." She pleaded with him to be fine as she stoked his hair, her hands trailing blood, his blood across his scalp as his head was cradled in her lap. _

"_Ju…Jules." He was choking as he said her name, choking on his own blood._

"_Sussh, Shawn its ok. I'm here." Tears rolled down her cheeks as she held him praying to someone, anyone would get here soon. Would save him._

"_Ju…Jules 'romise me 'ou won't cry." His usually vibrant green eyes were starting to glaze over and she wasn't sure if he was even seeing her anymore._

"_Shawn…"_

"_Pro…promise Ju…Jules, you won't cry, yo…you'll move on." It was getting harder for him to talk at tremors rocked his body._

"_I won't cry Shawn" Her tears dried up even as she spoke the words. He must have been content with her agreement because he looked up at her with startling clarity._

"_I love you." She saw then that he really meant it. Every time he flirted or paid her extra attention, he meant it. He had meant it for years. It was her who always turned him down._

"_I love you too." She knew it was too late. His eyes that had once seen everything now were locked ahead, gaze unseeing. She knew she was too late, that he hadn't heard her, that he never knew. Sobs ripped through her body, but she didn't let a single tear fall. She held him tighter, thinking that maybe if she held him tight enough he'd be ok, be alive again._

_She felt a hand on her shoulder, gently alerting her to its owner's presence. Gentler than she'd ever thought the man capable._

"_He's gone O'Hara. He's gone Juliet." he added more softly using his other hand to still hers which was still stoking her hair. She felt his tears fall to her shoulder, but hers never came._

Slowly she lifted her head from her knees and used her hand to lift herself from the floor. She heard the click of her heels as she walked to the mirror. Her face was unmarred. While it felt like an ocean had fallen from her eyes, they were clear and dry. Makeup unblemished her eyes were clear as crystal.

She had made a promise and she wasn't going to break it, even if it seemed to be breaking her. She put on her best smile, and even if was slightly off no one would comment about it. Slowly with a steady hand she unlocked the door and made her way back to interrogation where she would close the most important case of her life. His case.

She didn't cry because she promised him she wouldn't. She would never move on though, because that was a promise she didn't make.


End file.
